Look After You
by Angel Taisha
Summary: Post manga chapters 392&393 so there could be spoilers. "When I'm losing my control, the city spins around You're the only one who knows, you slow it down." The Fray. Rating may change. Hitsu/Matsu with some Matsu/Hisagi
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I don't really know what I've gotten myself into here…this was supposed to be a one shot, but I think it'll be at least three or four chapters, depending on how it progresses. Anyway- this is loosely based on the latest manga chapters (392&393) so there may be spoilery but I'm not sure. Just wanted to warn anyone just in case; that and I don't own Bleach or its characters, and there will be OOC-ness. I apologize in advance if it stinks. **

Rangiku sat at her captain's desk, stacking the endless forms into two piles; complete and incomplete, curling her lower lip into a pout when she realized the _complete_ pile was significantly shorter than the _incomplete _one.

"Dammit." She grumbled to no one, shifting her eyes from one stack to the other. "And here I thought I actually made a dent." In the midst of her grumbling the woman did not hear the door to her division's office open and was startled to see Izuru Kira standing before her.

"Hey Rangiku-san" He said flatly; his hands steepled together as he bent his head slightly in greeting. "Working through paperwork I see?" Izuru was not one for scintillating conversation, more like an observer of the obvious.

"Honestly, who invented paperwork and why is there always so much of it?" The ginger-haired woman rolled her eyes and picked up her pen, scribbling away hastily. Izuru seated himself at the chair in front of the desk, resting one knee over the other. Rangiku looked up at her friend grinning mischievously. "Want to do some?"

"Nice try." Izuru replied with a shake of his head, causing Rangiku to huff with disappointment. "Actually, Shuhei and I were wondering if you wanted to come out for a few drinks tonight; how about it?"

"Oh no! What time is it?" Rangiku asked, rising from her seat quickly. Noting that it was dark outside, the woman smacked her head with her hand. "I totally forgot! I'm going to take dinner over to my Taicho tonight! I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks, so I'm gonna have to turn you down." Izuru rose from his seat as well, watching Rangiku take two boxes out from one of the drawers.

"How's he doing?" He asked carefully, knowing that the subject of _he_ was a sensitive one to the woman before him. "Any improvement at all?"

"He has good days and bad days, Kira-kun." She stated simply in a tone that suggested that Rangiku did not want to discuss her captain's condition further.

Fortunately Izuru understood and left the conversation dead in the air, not wanting to upset her more than she might have been. In all honesty Izuru had lost all hope that Toshiro Hitsugaya was ever going to be the same again after accidentally killing their mutual friend Momo, but he wasn't about to tell the man's lieutenant that. He wasn't also going to let on that pretty much everyone else did as well. It was better just to let Rangiku hold onto that hope; it at least got the paperwork finished if only marginally more than she did when Toshiro was a functioning captain.

They walked together to the door, and Izuru held it open for Rangiku since her hands were full. Using his foot to close the slat behind him the two headed in opposite directions. Izuru waved to her, a fake smile plastered to his face. "Give Hitsugaya-Taicho my regards, Rangiku-san! Come out if you get home at an early time!"

"I will, Kira-kun!" She replied, an insincere smile was flashed back to him. She was not the idiot everyone seemed to take her for, a little disappointed that one of her friends had lost faith in Toshiro.

As mentioned, since he accidentally killed his childhood friend Momo, Toshiro had been mentally disturbed and deemed temporarily unable to carry on his role as 10th division captain. He did not have to be institutionalized, rather preferring to just remain in his quarters until he felt able enough to fulfill his duties. Luckily for him Rangiku Matsumoto worked as hard as a lazy woman such as herself could, in hopes he would one day be well enough to return.

Toshiro's lieutenant strolled with her head held high through the streets of the Seireitei with the bento boxes in her hands, ignoring the murmurs and glances of shinigami she passed:

"_Poor woman…its been months and still no change in Hitsugaya-Taicho. When will she realize he's never going to be the same again?"_

"_If you had no one else left in the world after something so tragic you'd be just as delusional."_

Rangiku was thankful to arrive at Toshiro's house; She wasn't sure how much longer she could resist wanting to unsheathe Haineko and shut up the disbelieving people no matter how right they might have been. Setting the boxes onto his patio table, Rangiku wrapped on the front door gently.

"Taicho! Open up! I've brought you something tasty to eat!" She said as cheerfully as she could and added "No! I _didn't_ make it if that's what you're wondering!" Rangiku waited a few minutes for her snowy-haired captain to materialize at the door but he never did. Her curiosity got the better of her and she placed a hand to his doorknob to test if it was locked, surprised to find it wasn't, letting herself inside. "Taicho! Hello?"

The parameter of his living room/dining room and kitchen were dark; the only light came in splintered from between the curtains and shadows danced eerily along the empty walls. The house was sparsely decorated; Toshiro was a man that favored simplicity over chaos, and it reflected not only in the office but at home.

Removing her shoes and tabi Rangiku approached his cocktail table, again setting the bento boxes down. She glanced down the narrow hallway that lead to Toshiro's bedroom and noticed a flickering light coming from it, not to mention the man's riatsu seemed to be emanating faintly. Relieved he was home; the woman padded to the room's entryway and peeked inside. There was indeed a candle flickering at his bedside but she still saw no trace of her captain.

That is- until she finally stepped fully inside to find him sitting in the corner.

Toshiro had grown taller in the past few years; his arms were lean and long, draped over his equally long and lanky boxer short-clad legs. He was shirtless as far as Rangiku could tell; after all, his head was buried in his arms, and his mop of floppy, untamed white hair blocked his face and chest from view. She approached the man slowly, crouching down in front of him. His breath reeked of sake; something Rangiku was definitely not used to smelling on her boss.

"Taicho?" She whispered softly, her hand resting on his bare shoulder. "Are you all right? Please talk to me, Toshiro…" Rangiku plopped down, sitting Indian style to make herself more comfortable as she waited for him to respond, but he didn't for a while. "I brought you something to eat…it looks like you could use some food, and I thought we could eat it together."

At last Toshiro lifted his head from its position, and dull, lifeless teal eyes reached up to hers, making her gasp once again. "Toushi…"

"…You haven't been here in a while."

"I know, Taicho. I'm sorry. The paperwork seems to have doubled since you've been…_away_." She answered nervously, hoping not to upset him by mentioning his leave.

"The paperwork has only doubled because I'm not there to do _my_ share and most of yours." He said apathetically, leaning his head against the wall; his eyes roamed over to the opposite wall with disinterest.

"Ha ha! You are always such a funny one!" Rangiku laughed nervously, ignoring the coldness in his voice but glad to see some of his personality shining through. "So how are you? Are you hungry?"

"Not really"

"So why are you sitting alone in the dark?" She asked, raising herself up to light the other candle in his room but he grabbed her arm, pulling her back down to the floor. "Toshiro? I just want to put more light on!"

"I don't know what else to do." Toshiro confessed; his frightened eyes locked onto hers, startling Rangiku. "The nightmares…are getting worse…to the point where I can't even close my eyes without seeing _her_" It was in that moment she noticed just how worn out and tired her captain was, and was able to surmise that the leaking riatsu was done out of the frustration he was feeling. "Is there any way I could possibly feel anything _besides_ guilt and regret, Matsumoto?"

The way he looked so helpless and beaten tore into Rangiku's heart and all she could think to do was pull him into her, crushing his head into her half-exposed chest. Since he had gotten taller Toshiro didn't get caught between them as much as before, but because he was sitting it was just as if he were short again, barely able to breathe from the impact. Instead of mindlessly squishing him as she used to, Rangiku adjusted his head for him, holding Toshiro against her heart; slender, delicate hands cradled his head and shoulder as she kissed his forehead tenderly. Within minutes she felt him shake beneath her and wetness trickle down her breasts.

He was crying.

"It's going to be ok, Taicho." Rangiku repeated like a mantra, adjusting them both so she was leaning against the wall for better support and they sat together silently in the dark.

As she held Toshiro, Rangiku was reminded that no matter how much he'd grown or matured in the past months that he was still that same boy she'd known all those years ago, and how kind and compassionate he was to her when Gin first left. After much heartache, when she was finally able to put the fox-faced man behind her, the ginger-haired woman made a promise to one day be there for Toshiro if he ever needed her in a similar way.

Rangiku only wished that she didn't have to, not because she didn't _want_ to, but for the simple fact that she never wanted her captain to feel as she did once, knowing how unbearable that pain could be.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Italics indicate a flashback in this chapter! Thanks for all the favorites and alerts; I am truly touched!**

**Chapter 2:**

Hours later Toshiro was the first to stir. A hand flew to his head as he tried to gain his bearings, and he adjusted his eyes to the dark since the candle on his bedside had finally flickered out, leaving him bathed only in the moon's pale light. Feeling movement on the futon, he glanced to the right to find Rangiku lying next to him curled in the fetal position, the sheet hardly covering the tips of her enormous breasts as she breathed steadily in and out. That instant Toshiro was engulfed, and the evening's events flooded his head like tidal waves.

_He recalled Rangiku holding him on the floor of his bedroom, running her fingers through his hair and whispering assuring words into his ear when it started- _

_Lifting his head from her chest, __Toshiro__ stared through Rangiku with reddened, tear-filled eyes and lunged forward, forcing his lips against hers hungrily. _

_At first, Rangiku was surprised at __Toshiro__'s actions. She never knew him to be so straightforward and her eyes remained open as he kissed her. His arms held on to her desperately while his tongue invaded her mouth with a need she had never experienced before. Deciding she could no longer fight him, Rangiku gave in and wrapped her arms around __Toshiro__ protectively; moving her lips and tongue in synch with his movements._

_Eventually out of fear, __Toshiro__ quickly unlocked their lips and braced Rangiku with his hands firmly on her shoulders. Both panting heavily, Rangiku softly caressed her Taicho's pale cheek with the back of her hand; his eyes faltered, and he seemed unsure of himself._

"_Something wrong, Taicho?"_

_"Forgive me, Matsumoto…" He whispered breathlessly. "I…I just wanted to feel something…something other than guilt and regret…"_

"_It's all right…"_

"…_No it's not!" He interrupted, falling away from her on his knees. "Momo…she was my best friend…every time I close my eyes I see her…and the look she gave me when…" __Toshiro__ could not finish the sentence. Sealing his eyes shut_ _Toshiro_ _lowered his head and clenched his fists to his thighs as the tears came out even more so than before. "I didn't mean for this to be an excuse for me to take advantage of you."_

_Rangiku helplessly watched the man she admired; the one whose back she had always had in a pinch crumble before her, wishing there were something she could do to help ease his mind. She knew __Toshiro__ felt isolated and stuck with no way of ever being able to recover and was desperately reaching out to the only one who not only understood his feelings but could possibly reach him._

_Taking the initiative this time, Rangiku leaned in towards __Toshiro__ until her face was in close proximity to his, ghosting her lips against his left cheek, his right, and then his forehead; eventually resting her head against it as she cupped __Toshiro__'s face between trembling hands._

"_Taicho…I mean it. It's okay" Her breath on his cheek felt warm, tickling his skin and the hands that once caressed left his face, trailing slow and deliberate down his shoulders sending shivers up his spine. "I'm here for you. I could help you feel again if you'll just let me."_ _Toshiro__ suddenly found himself surrounded by Rangiku; her legs pretzeled around his waist locking him into her embrace and her half-clothed chest pushed up against his bare one. "Please say you'll let me, Toshi" She pleaded with a whisper, and with those words the Taicho of Division 10 crashed into his lieutenant with such a force his riatsu briefly flashed and was felt by everyone within its vicinity._

And there they were, lying together in his futon among wrinkled sheets and blankets. Toshiro couldn't recall when they had gotten up to the futon, but he had no trouble remembering all too well Rangiku's warmth as it enveloped him, her arms as they held him ever so delicately, lips so soft and pliant as they left hot trails along his chest, finely manicured nails digging into the back of Toshiro's head as they moved in perfect unison, and the melodic sound of her voice as Rangiku cried out her orgasm in the moonlight.

"What have we done?" Toshiro wondered nervously, continuing to watch his lieutenant sleep soundly beside him. "How am I going to look her in the eye after this?" Clunking his head to the wall with a thunk, Rangiku finally woke up; her blue eyes flashed, gazing up at Toshiro with fondness and he froze.

"Oh Hello Taicho!" She yawned, stretching her body outward almost catlike. Rangiku wrapped the sheet around her chest and sat up, snuggling her head against Toshiro's shoulder. They stared off into the far wall for a few minutes in silence, watching the shadows dance upon it. Glancing up to get a better look at her captain, Rangiku could tell Toshiro seemed distraught. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Matsumoto, but how are _you_?" The concern in his voice was evident; he truly regretted taking advantage of Rangiku and she noticed it right away, lifting her head from his shoulder to meet brilliant-but-worried eyes.

"Please don't get upset about this…people have comfort sex all the time. Sometimes it's the only way to feel better. Don't you feel even a teeny bit better, Taicho?"

Toshiro folded his arms to his chest in contemplation, and in a way, he _did_ feel a _little_ better but hated to admit it. He was embarrassed, and his cheeks began to flush at the mere thought. Rangiku just laughed, returning her head to his shoulder and putting Toshiro's hand in hers so she could bring it up to her mouth for a kiss. "You're so cute, Taicho! It's ok to say that the sex made you feel better. There's no shame in that."

"I know…but it's only a temporary fix." He replied sadly, heaving a sigh. "For every second I feel normal again I am somehow reminded of what I had done and I'm back to square one."

"What happened was _not_ your fault!" Rangiku interrupted angrily. "Aizen tricked you…he tricked all of us. Everyone knows you wouldn't have deliberately stabbed Momo-chan. Even Momo understood; she told you in her last breath, didn't she?"

"Yes." Was the quiet reply. She could tell he was not confident in his answer, and was beginning to wonder if it was a curse knowing Toshiro so well.

"You need to realize that, and when you do you'll eventually be back to your old self. In the meantime let me help you take your mind off of it all, OK?" Rangiku climbed on top of Toshiro, pulling him into her generous cleavage and began her assault on his neck with a stream of soft, steady kisses that burned his skin and caused his hands to roam on their own, re-igniting urges he had felt only hours before.

Toshiro was able to fight Rangiku off, and he forced her to stop her ministrations no matter how good they were making him feel. "Matsumoto…this isn't right. I can't let you do this…not again!"

"Oh baloney, Taicho!" Rangiku stuck out her tongue in protest, digging her nails within his soft, white hair, making Toshirou's eyes cross and the ability to resist her slip away with every move she made. "Just let me do what I do best huh?" He was surprised at her words. Could the rumors of his lieutenant actually be true? Toshiro never wanted to believe the whispers and gossip about Rangiku and her exploits, but there she was in his lap in not so many words telling him they _were_ true, and he was suddenly finding himself way too distracted to even care.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

Early that morning Rangiku quietly slipped out of Toshiro's place, thankful that the sun hadn't come up yet which meant the streets were empty and devoid of prying eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was make trouble for her captain by the way of rumors indicating him having a thing with his lieutenant even if it _was_ technically true. She leapt to the nearest rooftop and flash-stepped through the sleeping town back to her place, hoping no one would see her.

Unfortunately, for her, she was just two steps away from home when she heard a voice call out behind her.

"Oi! Rangiku, where'd you come from?"

She turned around to see Shuhei Hisagi standing with his arms folded, leaning against a building with a smug look on his face. It was obvious to her he had been drinking not only because of the _way_ he was leaning but the goofy look in his eyes and exaggerated pout on his lips.

"_Just play it cool, Rangiku…"_ she thought to herself as she made her way over to him casually; her hands placed behind her back as she pushed her chest out even further (if that were even possible).

"Are you stalking me, Shuhei-kun?" she asked coolly, lifting her finger up and poking him gently in the chest. His face flushed red from the contact. "I should be asking _you_ what _you're _doing out here…Just a little odd, don't you think?"

"I was at the watering hole, waiting for _you_ to show up!" Shuhei answered cockily, rising up from the comfort of the wall in a drunken attempt at confidence. He towered over her, closing the space between them and returned the gesture by poking Rangiku back into the crack of her breasts. "But apparently when a girlfriend tells her boyfriend she's _definitely_ going to be at a certain place at a certain time it only means _maybe._"

Rangiku's eyes went wide, remembering that she _did_ tell Shuhei she would go to their favorite bar after work but forgot when she got excited about seeing her captain. She smiled apologetically, stepping back from his crowding and pouted.

"I'm so sorry, Shuhei-kun…" Rangiku began, with a hand to her cheek. "I went to have dinner with my Taicho. I haven't seen him in so long; as a matter of fact I think the last time I saw him was…"

"…Right before we started dating." He filled in, closing the distance between them again. Shuhei took her hand off her cheek and kissed it, not breaking their eye contact. "Did you tell him about us?"

Rangiku blushed three more shades of pink as she was instantly transported back to earlier in the evening and the position her and her captain were in, remembering awkwardly that Shuhei hadn't even crossed her mind, but of course she wouldn't let _him_ know that.

"Of course I didn't tell him." Rangiku replied, taking her hand back from him sharply. "My Taicho doesn't need to know things like that. He's still not quite himself, you know. I told him I was swamped with paperwork, which was true, but since when do _I_ ever let paperwork stop me from doing what I want, eh?"

"True…So no change in him then?" Shuhei put his arm around Rangiku and they walked slowly the rest of the way toward her place. She flipped up her hair from under his arm and rested her head on his shoulder absentmindedly as she thought of Toshiro and how lost he was when Shuhei continued. "Do you think he'll ever change after all this?"

"Of course I do!" Rangiku shot back with annoyance. "He just needs to be distracted…to find something else to think about besides Momo-Chan all the time." She did not put her arm around Shuhei, instead preferring to pick at her nails instead. Fortunately, for her the man didn't seem to mind as long as he was at least _touching_ her. It had taken a lot of effort on his part to get her to even consent to go out with him. She had been so busy taking over Toshiro's work and spending time with him Shuhei didn't think she would ever make any time for herself, let alone anyone else, and it _was_ true that once they started dating Rangiku had stopped going over to visit her white haired captain almost altogether, but mostly out of guilt.

Before they knew it, the two were standing at Rangiku's front door and the sun was finally beginning to show itself. "Here we are!" The ginger-haired woman exclaimed as Shuhei wrapped his arms around her, making her slightly uncomfortable. He leaned into her face, brushing his lips against hers softly.

"Can I come in for a little while, maybe?" Shuhei pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss before noticing her hesitation and pulled back, releasing Rangiku from his embrace. "Perhaps some other time then…" The disappointment within his dark grey eyes was evident although he tried to hide it, and Rangiku suddenly felt bad for deceiving him.

"Shuhei…" She cooed softly, placing a hand to his cheek. "I'm sorry. I have to get back to the office in three hours, I am so sleepy and I'm not even hung over! The paperwork isn't going to sign itself although I wish it would."

"I know, but it's been weeks since we've been together and we still haven't…well…you know…" Shuhei blushed yet again as he tried to explain to her in not so many words that he and Rangiku had yet to even sleep together. "Do you think we will soon?" His smile was a combination of goofy and hopeful, and even Rangiku couldn't deny that Shuhei looked adorable beyond words.

To make him feel better Rangiku brought his head down to her chest and hugged him. "Please be patient, ok Shuhei-kun? I'm just not ready yet."

The reaction she had gotten from the young man was exactly what Rangiku was hoping for: Shuhei Hisagi's eyes lit back up with hope and he nodded like a love-struck puppy.

"All right, Rangiku, but please don't make me wait _too_ long. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow? I'm sure you're going to need to sleep since you didn't really get any spending time with Hitsugaya-Taicho."

"Sure. Thank you, Shuhei for understanding. Talk to you later!" And with that, Rangiku walked into her home and shut the door, leaning against it while sighing. "Phew!" She exclaimed with a hand to her brow in relief. "That was a close one. Now I really need to get some rest!"

The three hours Rangiku had to catch up on sleep before returning to the 10th division office were not spent resting as she had hoped. No matter how hard the woman tried to sleep, every time she closed her eyes, images of Toshiro in her arms, writhing underneath her, and hovering over her repeated in her mind like home movies. Sure his hands were cold and hasty at first, his kisses sloppy and unsure, and his ministrations did anything but make her feel good, but Rangiku was more than forgiving since he had never had sex before and had no real idea what he was doing in the first place…

…Then again, she really didn't either, and if anyone got wind that Rangiku Matsumoto was actually a virgin before the night with her captain who's to say what would happen as a result. Lying on her back in her room with the shades drawn, Rangiku didn't regret a single thing about her night with Toshiro, and remembered their talk before she left him. He was still very regretful himself, and his lieutenant did the best to try to reassure that it was all right.

~X~

"_Please Taicho…don't feel bad about this. I was the one that initiated everything." _

"_You weren't. It was me." _Toshiro_ hung his head, refusing to make eye contact with Rangiku as they stood in the entryway of his house. "I kissed you first, remember?" _

_Rangiku lifted _Toshiro_'s chin up with her finger and gazed into distraught teal eyes, smiling warmly at him. "It doesn't matter. I wanted it…I wanted to be there for you, Taicho. If I didn't do you really think you would have gotten so far? Do you remember who I am?" _

_They both shared a laugh; _Toshiro_'s was more awkward than Rangiku's but she had gotten him to smile and that was good enough for her. She hugged him tightly, kissing his forehead when they separated._

_"Anytime you need me…just let me know ok? Every day will get a little better, and I will be watching your back every step of the way, you got that?" Rangiku could not resist kissing him one last time and was pleasantly surprised to find _Toshiro_ actually returning the gesture. It amazed her at how much better he got with every kiss but she took that amazement back when she recalled he __**was**__a prodigy after all. "Please get well soon…I miss you at the office."_

"_You don't miss me…you miss me doing the paperwork." He grinned down at Rangiku, stealing her lips again and wrapping his arms around her before she could protest. "Arigato, Matsumoto…" _Toshiro_ whispered in her ear sincerely as they parted._

"_Take care of yourself, Taicho." She replied, and disappeared from his sight. _

_~X~_

Rangiku reluctantly dressed and headed off to the office for another day of outrageous paper signing. She kept the subordinates busy by providing her strong coffee every ten minutes but she found for every little burst of energy she got an even bigger crash occurred, causing her to have to take small naps on the couch in 20 minute intervals every hour.

"This is the pits!" She pouted, yawning in front of another pile of papers brought to her by subordinate minutes before. Rangiku banged her head on the desk in frustration when Nanao Ise walked in and cleared her throat.

"Everything all right, Lieutenant Matsumoto?" She asked, and Rangiku looked up at her scowling; the woman had yet another stack of papers encased in her hands. "I hate to have to do this, but I was asked to deliver these to you and they're to be signed by tomorrow."

"It's no problem, Nan-chan." Rangiku lied "Just set them down, I'll get to them eventually."

Nanao could tell Rangiku was not her usual self, and understandably so since her captain has been gone, and despite her distaste for getting involved with anyone's problems outside of her own division she decided to sit down at the chair in front of the desk. "Did you have a rough night, Matsumoto? You look beat."

"I didn't drink if that's what you're insinuating!" Rangiku piped up in defense. "I was with my Taicho. _He_ had a rough night and _I_ didn't get any sleep. That's all." She hoped Nanao wouldn't notice the flush in her face as she thought about the sex and luckily she didn't.

Instead, the woman sitting before Rangiku suddenly felt bad, looking in any direction other than the ginger-haired woman's and stuttered. "S…sorry. I didn't mean it that way. Would you like me to help you with your paperwork?"

Any anger that Rangiku may have had that instant for Nanao's assumption quickly disappeared at the sound of those words and she smiled gratefully. "That's so sweet of you, Nanao, thank you!" and the two worked steadily for the rest of the day, or at least until Shunsui sent a subordinate to look for his Nan-Chan since she had so abruptly disappeared, worrying her flamboyant Captain.

~X~

Toshiro paced the floor of his living room like a caged tiger; his hands at his back and worry in his eyes. He had had another day filled with hallucinations and flashbacks of Momo's death, which left him restless and uneasy. The captain felt like his head was going to explode and he didn't know what to do about it.

Then he thought about Rangiku and what she said to him:

"_Anytime you need me…just let me know, ok?"_

"_People have comfort sex all the time. Sometimes it's the only way to feel better."_

He couldn't deny that he wanted to see her again, to forget his problems even for only a few minutes. Toshiro wouldn't admit it to anyone else, but he didn't like being alone. He thought the best form of recovery for him would be to _be_ left alone to sort through his feelings and thoughts. When he didn't see Rangiku for those couple of weeks and she suddenly showed up at his door last night it reminded him of how much he needed company, and loved _her_ company, but only _because she knew him so well_ he quickly added.

So Toshiro established that he needed company, but it was late and how would he get Rangiku to come to his place again?

He wouldn't.

~X~

Rangiku was once again lying on her back in her bedroom, thankful the day was over. Clad in her favorite blue tank top and plaid capri's, she was thisclose to drifting off to sleep when she felt an all too familiar riatsu and faint tap on her door.

~X~

**A/N: Ok first I apologize for the length of this chapter, and any OOC-Ness.**

**The good news is I **_**do**_** have a storyboard for this and I am working on it even if it seems like it's all over the place. Anyway, if you're still reading, thanks so much for sticking around!**

**Sorry about slipping Hisagi in there…he just kind of showed up and I went with it. I have no problem with this guy; as a matter of fact I love him, but I have a feeling he's going to be getting the shaft in this fic. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: To hopefully avoid confusion the scenes are split from the bar where Renji and ****Shuhei**** are to Rangiku's apartment. Once again sorry about the OOC-ness too. **

**Chapter 4:**

_Rangiku was thisclose to drifting off to sleep when she felt an all too familiar riatsu and faint tap upon her door._

Rangiku sat frozen on her futon with the blankets clutched between her fingers as she stared at the door listening to the rapping. _"Could it really be? He never comes over here, and he hasn't left his place in months…"_ She rose from her bed, grabbed a blue silk kimono and wrapped it around herself, heading for the door. Opening it slowly, Rangiku looked up to see her captain standing before her and she smiled.

"Taicho! What a surprise!" Rangiku exclaimed, stepping aside to let Toshiro into her apartment. Removing his sandals and tabi, the young man peeked out of her window suspiciously and she watched him with curious eyes. "Is everything all right?" He looked so different without his captain's cloak; probably preferring to remain as anonymous as possible to avoid prying eyes.

"I was just wondering if anyone might have seen me." He replied, moving away from the window. Toshiro wrung his hands nervously and bit his lip. "I'm sorry for just coming by like this, Matsumoto."

Rangiku agreed internally that it was strange Toshiro was there, but immediately sensed he was on edge and approached him, encasing him in a comforting hug. "It's ok, Taicho. I said you could any time, didn't I? I just didn't think you'd actually take me up on my offer." She ran her hand along his back in slow, steady circles; he was a little too nervous for her taste and wanted him to relax. "What happened today after I left?"

Toshiro was now only two inches taller than his lieutenant was, and when he lifted his head from her shoulder, his rich, teal eyes bore into her once again overwhelmed with the pain she saw the night before. "I…when I'm alone I have too much to think about…" Toshiro turned his head downward and his cheeks flushed "…I just want to talk"

Rangiku listened intently to her captain as he struggled with his pride. She knew it was hard for him to admit anything, let alone the fact that he was lonely, and she was flattered it was her he came to. Rangiku blinked, and tears splashed down her face as she brought him back into her arms, squeezing as tight as she could.

"Matsumoto!" He gasped, his hands flailing about wildly. "Too tight!"

She released her captain apologetically. "I'm sorry!" Rangiku said, knuckling away the wetness from her eyes. "I am so touched you came to see me!" Her hands reached for his and she caressed them with the pads of her thumbs gently. "I was just about to go to sleep. Why not come to bed with me and you can tell me everything there?"

Toshiro blushed at her request, making Rangiku giggle. She found it so amusing that she had seen his face change color more times the past two days than she ever had being his lieutenant for over 50 years and here she was casually leading him into her bedroom like it was no big deal. The bedroom was not large; it _was_ sizeable enough to accommodate a futon with glass tables on each side, a dresser for clothes, and a vanity. Candles flickered from decorative sconces on the wall, illuminating the pictures hung between them. Rangiku knelt down onto the futon, bringing Toshiro down with her. Tossing the kimono she'd put over herself when she answered her door Rangiku held out her arms and her captain fell into them; his head rested on her chest.

Just as the evening before, they lay together among the shadows; Rangiku held his head in her hands, running her fingers through his hair absentmindedly as she listened to Toshiro while he talked, telling her about the nightmares and visions he had continued to have. The once rapidly beating heart she felt began to slow, meaning Toshiro was becoming relaxed, and in turn Rangiku was able to relax as well.

Meanwhile, little did she know how crazy the slight gesture of her fingers in his hair was driving him, and it wasn't long before Toshiro grew brave, tightened his grip on her waist and began placing soft kisses along Rangiku's neck and breasts.

~X~

_Meanwhile…_

"So where's Rangiku tonight? That's the second time in a row she's not here to drink with us!" Renji asked Shuhei curiously, as he pointed to the empty chair next to him. "That's not like her."

"She's home resting." Shuhei replied, taking a drink from his cup. "She was with Hitsugaya Taicho last night and didn't get any sleep so I'm not seeing her."

Renji simply shrugged and resumed his drinking. Nights like these were more frequent now that there was little to no trouble in Soul Society. Sure, there were hollow sightings here and there, but nothing as severe as when Aizen was alive. Renji, Shuhei, Izuru and Rangiku often hung out together, especially since she and Shuhei started dating.

"Ah, at least I'll save some money tonight." Renji added as he held out his money. "Rangiku always manages to make me pay for her drinks.

"Yeah, after I spend all of _my_ money." Shuhei added, but his light tone didn't match the look in his eyes; he missed having her there and Renji noticed.

"So…things all right with you two?" He asked bluntly, pouring more sake into his cup and crossing his legs to get more comfortable. "You guys do it yet?"

The very question made the dark haired lieutenant blush; hating that Renji was never the shy type when he drank. Shuhei put a hand to the back of his head and turned away, laughing nervously.

"I'll take that as a no."

"She said she's not ready yet, Renji." The man quickly rose to Rangiku's defense.

"Like hell she's not ready. That woman is looser than the kimono that barely holds in those huge tits of hers." As Renji tilted his head back to drink, Shuhei rose from his chair and pulled his sword at the red head's throat.

"Don't talk about Rangiku like that!" He snapped; the blade dangerously close to Renji's Adam's apple. "She's our friend and deserves our respect."

"Easy there, killer" Renji's eyes widened and his body stiffened. "I ain't bein' disrespectful, but you've heard the rumors, haven't you, Shuhei? Why would people make that kind of stuff up? Look at how drunk she gets and how she throws those airbags around like they're currency!" He mused to himself with "Well, with all the free drinks she gets because of them I guess they could be"

Hisagi withdrew his sword and sheathed it much to Renji's relief. "Whether or not she's done anything to anyone, I have to wait until she's ready to be with me. Look at how long it took for her to accept a date…I can't screw that up now just because my balls are blue."

"Then you're a sucker, but it's none of my business." Renji laughed and resumed his attention to his drink; Shuhei sat back down, following suit.

In a way, Renji was right, and Shuhei had no choice but to agree with him. Ever since they started seeing one another he noticed that Rangiku seemed distant, and although she tried, Shuhei wasn't stupid; he could tell Rangiku was more often preoccupied than not, probably with the burdens of her squad duties and the condition of her captain. Still, he more often than not found himself wishing she would just get over everything and pay more attention to him.

Shuhei tried justifying that they _did _spent a lot of time drinking together but the sad truth was they did that when they _weren't_ going out, so things didn't really change between them _that _much aside from the fact that she let him kiss her. Shuhei often went home from their nights out with a hard on in his pants and disappointment in his eyes. He ultimately concluded that it was his own fault for thinking she would be easy in the first place.

Renji felt bad for getting Shuhei down, so he quickly piped up with "I still can't believe you even managed to bag that babe."

"Persistence pays off in some ways." Was Shuhei's confident reply, even if he didn't really feel as confident as he sounded. The smile on his face could not be slapped off with that realization as he gulped his sake. "If she's as good as the rumors say she is, then I'm sure I'm in for a real treat." Once finished with the cup in his hands, Shuhei got out of his seat and ran a hand through his hair. "I think I'm gonna get going." He declared, and Renji rose up with him.

"Yeah, probably not a bad idea. Rukia's gonna start sendin' out search parties if I don't get back too." He nodded at his friend. "Catch ya here tomorrow?"

"I don't see why not!" Was Shuhei's reply as he saluted the red head. "Talk to you later." And with that he darted off in the direction of his quarters but decided at the last minute to make a quick detour.

~X~

Rangiku woke up and found she was alone. Sitting up in her futon a little disoriented, her hand ghosted over to the opposite side, disappointed it had lost the warmth of the one that occupied the space just hours before but hesitated when she felt something on the pillow.

"_What's this? _She thought curiously, flashing the paper she had picked up into the moon's light from the window so she could read it. _"oh."_ Was her reply; she was not surprised at all with its simplicity.

_Matsumoto,_

_I'm sorry._

_~Hitsugaya_

Rangiku shook her head, settled back underneath the covers and rested her head onto her pillow, but sleep did not come. Instead, all the woman could do was stare into the moonlit sky through her window hoping Toshiro was all right, and wondering what she was going to do about Shuhei.

"Shuhei_-kun."_ The thought of his name added guilt among the emotions she was feeling at that moment. She wasn't exactly lying when she said she was with her captain, but Rangiku knew it wasn't fair that Shuhei was being jerked around and made a mental note to tell him in the morning that they were through.

She suddenly found that she would not have to wait that long.

Another knock at the front door startled Rangiku and she quickly got up, grabbed her blue kimono again and headed down the hallway towards it.

Shuhei was not sure what to expect when he arrived at Rangiku's place, but seeing her clad in nothing but a thigh high kimono, mussed up hair, and cleavage just about to burst out of it took every ounce of his energy _not_ to pounce on her right there.

Rangiku's eyes widened, surprised once again but by Shuhei's presence instead of Toshiro's. "Shu-kun? What are you doing here?" She leaned against the door's frame tiredly, running her fingers through a patch of her hair. "Is everything all right?" The woman paused, feeling a sense of déjà vu after asking Toshiro the same thing almost four to five hours previously.

"I had to see you." He declared, moving into her personal space. Her scent was intoxicating, and Shuhei felt his resistance dissolve with every step he took towards her until his hands were planted at her hips and lips pressed firmly against hers.

She could hardly believe what was happening, and did her best to stop him before he got too far. "Shuhei-kun!" Rangiku mumbled into his lips as her hands pressed against his chest to separate them. "Please stop!"

When Rangiku pushed Shuhei away from her, he slammed a little too hard against her living room wall, and because he was drunk he lost his balance and slid down to the floor; his head dangling loosely in front of his chest. She quickly ran over to him, kneeling down to lift his head up with her hand.

"I'm sorry!" Her hands held his face delicately as she searched his eyes for a response. They looked sadly up at her, and his lip curved into a frown.

"Why?" He asked simply, gripping her wrists with his hands, their eyes locked onto one another. "Why do you keep pushing me away?"

"I don't know…" Rangiku admitted, pressing her eyes shut, releasing tears that had seemed to appear out of nowhere. "…I just have so much going on…I…don't know what you want me to say, Shuhei." She fell backward onto her ass, sitting in front of her fellow lieutenant as the tears continued to fall. "I never meant to treat you like this. You have to believe me."

Shuhei's head hurt, and he leaned it against the wall, disrupting the eye contact he had with Rangiku. He could feel her drifting even farther away and there was nothing he could do to prevent her from going. In that moment he came to the sad realization as he managed another glance at Rangiku that she, in her own way was letting him go, and he also realized that he _had_ to be let go.

"I'm sorry for what you're going through." Shuhei said to her as he rose to his feet, picking Rangiku up along with him. "If you ever change your mind about me…about us…"

"I'm so sorry, Shuhei-kun." Was all Rangiku could say in response, wrapping her arms around herself, suddenly aware of the nakedness underneath the scant kimono she was wearing. "I can't promise anything, you know?"

"Yeah. Well, I guess this is goodbye then. See you around?"

Rangiku simply nodded her head; she did not have enough strength emotionally to say or do anything else, and when Shuhei left her apartment and disappeared from sight she fell back down to her knees; the tears fell in rivulets down her cheeks shortly after.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

About a month had passed since that night and very little had changed aside from the fact that Rangiku avoided the bars and Shuhei like the plague, diving completely into the office duties of her division. Despite her hatred for paper work, Rangiku learned how to tolerate it and managed to get more done than she could have ever hoped to.

Then again having an emotionally distraught captain and little else to look forward to would make _anyone_ do things one wouldn't normally do, and Rangiku was no exception to this theory.

Toshiro still came to her. Sometimes they would just talk; she found that all he needed most of the time was someone just to listen to him. When the young man finally realized it was actually OK to talk to someone about his thoughts and problems as well it became easier for Toshiro to confide in her over time.

Then there was the sex.

While they did spend most nights just talking as mentioned, at least eight out of every ten visits ended up with the two of them tangled together panting, sweating, and Toshiro sneaking out while she slept. Even when they didn't have sex he left when his talking put Rangiku to sleep.

He never took it personally; Toshiro knew how hard his lieutenant worked and was grateful to her for still offering her time (and body) despite how tired and worn out she had begun to look to him in the following weeks. Sure, Rangiku was still as happy as ever to see him when he came, but Toshiro was not so self-absorbed in his own problems to notice her disposition dulled somehow, and not just because of overwhelming temporary Taicho duties. The issue was that no matter how many times he would ask Rangiku how she was or if something was on her mind, she just blew it off and never told him anything about herself.

"The whole point of this comfort sex is to make sure _you're_ all right, Taicho." Rangiku would say in a scolding tone that had begun to make Toshiro feel a little guilty even if it was not her intent to.

~X~

Toshiro stepped out of his bath, fashioning a towel around his waist. His hands ran through his hair as he headed towards his bedroom. It took more of a silvery tone when wet, but it dried quickly and he was thankful for one less thing to worry about. Opening the closet by his futon, Toshiro eyed the garment hanging on the door wrapped in plastic thoughtfully. It was his captain's uniform, and Rangiku had it neatly pressed for him in case he was ever willing to come back to his duties.

Today was that day.

Being able to talk to Rangiku and seek out her comfort had slowly brought him back from the despair he had been feeling, and Toshiro woke up that morning with a renewed confidence in himself that he had not experienced since before Momo's death. Removing the hanger from its place, he peeled off the plastic and began dressing piece by piece. At last, with his captain's cloak in place, Toshiro took one look in the mirror and smirked at the reflection.

Yes- Toshiro Hitsugaya was officially back in business and he decided it was time to stop taking advantage of his lieutenant's "kindness".

So as he left, why did he feel a little apprehensive about the latter?

~X~

"Ha!" Rangiku said triumphantly to the air, pointing at the papers in front of her. "I'm finally done with this half. Now I can nap, and finish the other half before I leave tonight!" She called to the subordinate sitting at her desk. "Kari! You're done for the day! Thanks for your help, now get out and enjoy this sunshine so I can sleep!"

Rangiku didn't have to tell the young woman twice and she sprinted out of the chair before the lieutenant could finish the sentence.

"Ah, sweet, sweet couch! How I need you so today!" She exhaled dreamily, plopping herself onto its comfortable leather surface. As soon as her head hit the cushion Rangiku's eyes closed.

However, for as exhausted as she was, the woman could not sleep.

Rangiku still felt guilty for how she treated Shuhei and wondered if she would ever forgive herself for it. Although she had seen him a few times when he stopped by the office to deliver papers and he told her it was all right, she still refused to hang out with him and Renji in the evenings.

She had found herself wishing Toshiro would come by in the evening, because maybe she would actually tell him what was wrong when he asked for a change and _she_ could be comforted for once. Before she knew it, just the thought of potentially seeing her captain had relaxed her and Rangiku sighed, drifting off to sleep.

~X~

"Shiro-Chan!" a voice called happily behind him and Toshiro groaned, remembering how much he despised that nickname. When he turned around, he found Jushiro Ukitake towering over him with a smile on his face.

"It's _Hitsugaya-Taicho_" Toshiro retorted, but Jushiro just ignored the statement, glad to see the tenth division captain stand before him.

"How have you been? Are you coming back for duty?"

"Yes sir." Was Toshiro's triumphant reply. "Matsumoto has taken on enough of my…responsibilities" His face flushed, silently recalling the more than just paper work they had shared.

"Rangiku-san has definitely been working hard in your absence. She doesn't even go out drinking anymore."

Toshiro was surprised to hear about the lack of drinking on Rangiku's part. He had always come over well after bar hours just so she didn't have to feel like she couldn't go anywhere but he just never paid attention to the fact that she wasn't drunk and he cursed himself for not being as perceptive as he thought he was.

"Well, she shouldn't be out anyway with those degenerates. I'll talk to you later, Jushiro." As he walked away from the taller Shiro, the young captain found himself annoyed that she had seemingly shut her life off for him. He knew she was there when he needed her, but Toshiro never expected her to completely shut herself down in the process.

While walking down the corridor towards the office he was greeted by everyone that passed him by, congratulating him on his return and telling him how happy they were to see him once again. Toshiro nodded just enough to be courteous but he had more pressing matters to deal with, and opened his office door to find it surprisingly quiet.

Toshiro stood in the middle of the room; a place he had not set foot into in almost a year. Looking around slowly, he took in the familiar sights of their desks facing one another, the plants in the corners, and the tea table off to the left. He smelled the comforting scent of the daffodils as they wafted in through the opened bay windows and the slightest hint of Rangiku's perfume.

Speaking of Rangiku, she was nowhere to be seen.

That is, until his eyes found purchase on the big, brown leather couch facing the windows. Then he knew where she was and approached the back of it quietly.

Sure enough as his gaze moved downward, Rangiku was lying there sound asleep on her side. Toshiro listened to her breaths, which were long and deep. He sighed, once again proving just how tired she actually was, and happy that so little had seemed to change in her routine.

"_Arigato, Matsumoto, for saving my life."_ Toshiro whispered quietly, bending down to kiss his lieutenant on the cheek. He then walked over to his desk and sat down, taking one more scale around the office before diving into his work.

~X~

It was almost dusk by the time Rangiku finally stirred, and when she realized how long she had slept, she shot up from the couch instantly.

"Dammit!" She exclaimed, disappointed in herself. "I wanted to finish the rest of those papers before I left! Now I have to do them tomorrow…shucks! And I was so ahead too." Rangiku pouted, adjusting her top since her chest had practically fallen out of her top from her nap as she sat Indian style on the couch to stare off into the night sky. "I'll never learn. Will I always be so lazy?"

"The last thing you are, Matsumoto, is lazy. I see that now."

Rangiku's breath caught in her throat and she stilled at the voice coming from behind her. Rubbing her eyes, the woman turned her head slowly to its source and instantly smiled at the sight of Toshiro dressed in his complete captain's garb and Hyorinmaru fastened to his back.

"Taicho!" She exclaimed, throwing herself off the couch and into his outstretched arms. "You're back…You've finally come back! I'm so happy you're here!"

He could feel the relief in her body as he held her, and while embraces such as these were not uncommon between them this one felt…_different_.

"I couldn't have done it without you, Matsumoto." He said again so she could hear him and found himself holding her tighter. "I'm forever in your debt."

"You're my Taicho…" Rangiku smiled in his embrace with her head on his shoulder. "…I would do _anything_ for you. Welcome back!"

~X~

Shuhei had just finished the last of his work for the day and closed the ninth's office door slowly. He was ready for another night of drinking himself stupid- even more so since he and Rangiku had broken up. The dark haired man fought with the rejection every day, wondering what it was about him that the ginger haired woman did not find attractive.

Then Shuhei walked past the door of the tenth division and saw the reason for her rejection, and he was holding Rangiku securely in his arms. Not wanting to eavesdrop but also not able to fight the urge, Shuhei stood in the doorway off to the side as he listened in on their conversation.

"Matsumoto…we have to talk." Toshiro said seriously to her, leading her over to their couch. "I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to…_comfort_ me any longer."

"Are you sure, Taicho?" Rangiku asked, hoping he didn't catch the hint of disappointment in her voice. "You can still come by if you want." She smiled hopefully at him, but knew by the look in his eyes that he had already made his decision.

"That should have never happened in the first place." Toshiro noted matter-of-factly; his hand a little too comfortable on her thigh to the man standing in the hallway. "I took advantage of you. Once or twice was bad enough, but I've stepped beyond the boundaries that a captain should have by coming to you for almost two months…now that I am able to sleep and function without seeing Momo I am certain that I'm OK now and will finally let you get back to your life, which I have noticed you seem to have stopped completely for me."

Shuhei's eyes opened wide at what Toshiro had just said. _"Two…months? She was with me then…"_

"I told you it was just comfort sex!" Rangiku replied nonchalantly. "It was no big deal, really!"

"_Comfort…sex?" _Shuhei could not believe his ears. _"So the whole time she said she *wasn't ready* she was sleeping with Hitsugaya Taicho? And for comfort no less? THAT'S why she broke up with me?" _

For as much as Shuhei tried to keep his composure, he was becoming angrier by the minute and walked off, but not before punching the outside wall so hard it left a softball sized hole in its wake.

"What was that?" Rangiku exclaimed as the two looked simultaneously at the hole in their wall. "Was someone there?"

"Don't change the subject, Matsumoto." Toshiro brought her face to hers with his hand gently. "I'm not going to be bothering you anymore and you can go back to your life; I just want you to know that. Are we clear?"

"Crystal." Was her reply, and suddenly silence thickened the room, which would have been great except for the fact that the both of them were both feeling that something was not right between them.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! It is so very much appreciated! :3**

**Chapter 6:**

It was over just like that.

"_I'm not going to be bothering you anymore and you can go back to your life; I just want you to know that. Are we clear?" _

For some reason that statement had stuck with Rangiku for the rest of the day. Sure, she was beyond happy that Toshiro was back; now she could get some relief at the office, although she had finally gotten the hang of handling the paperwork, and maybe her captain was right- she really _had_ shut off her life so she could take care of him and their division.

The truth was she found she really did not mind doing all that, and could not help feeling a little useless. Being sober and actually able to wake up in the morning was not as bad as Rangiku thought, and doing the papers on time kind of made her feel like she accomplished something for a change. Moreover, getting Toshiro to open up to her after all of their years together in a way she had never seen was welcome.

Rangiku sat on her knees on her futon with her elbow rested upon the windowsill, staring out into the street she lived off. Town life at night was so different than during the day; instead of merchants and families walking about there were drunks and couples enjoying the evening. She had felt tempted to go out to the bars but changed her mind, just in case _he_ might come see her.

"_After all he could realize he made a mistake and still needs me…"_ The ginger-haired woman thought to herself. _"If I'm at the bar and he comes by I'll be letting him down, and I need to be there for him." _

~X~

Toshiro completed the paperwork that Rangiku meant to finish and set the pen into its container on his desk. He marveled in the way the woman kept it neat and tidy the way he liked it while he was gone, but then again he knew Rangiku was never a slob; Lazy- yes (at one point), but never messy. Out of habit part of Toshiro was thinking that there were still some papers hidden somewhere in the office but the couch looked too normal and the tea table was the height it was supposed to be (with papers hidden underneath it usually rose at least another foot). Able to accept that the papers were really done, the young man decided to go home for the evening.

He had to admit he was a little nervous about returning home. Toshiro had only decided he was all right that morning, and this would be one of the first nights he was not going to head over to Matsumoto's. While he stood at the crossroads that divided his path to either her apartment or his, he came close to going in her direction but stopped himself short.

"_I said I wasn't going there anymore."_

So Toshiro turned right back around, heading for his apartment despite the nagging feeling that surged within him. _"Get over it, Toshiro."_ He muttered to himself as his pace quickened. _"It never meant anything to her anyway…"_

At that moment, Rangiku thought she felt an extra chill in the air- one similar to her captain's riatsu but it had vanished as quickly as it appeared.

~X~

"She was doing what?" Renji asked surprised, sitting once again with Shuhei and Izuru at the bar.

"Screwing Hitsugaya Taicho because he was fucked up." Shuhei replied, not exactly believing what he had just said any more than the two men sitting across from him had. "I should have seen that… then again I didn't think that guy was even remotely interested in her."

"That makes two of us." Izuru added, picking up his mug and taking a slug from it. "How the hell did he manage that?"

"She told him it was because he was her captain and she'd do _anything_ for him." Shuhei frowned and slit his eyes, glaring off into the floor. It was hard for the man to hide his jealousy and he almost broke his mug when he slammed it down onto the table. "How the hell do I compete with that?"

"You don't." Izuru said simply, gaining a dirty look from his friend. "Hey, I'm just bein' honest here, sorry."

Renji chimed in "Well, what if you tried to play that game, Shu? If Rangiku-san has a soft spot for emotionally fucked people then you could pretend you were…maybe you'd get some of that comfort sex, eh?"

Shuhei took a sip of his sake, contemplating what Renji had just said but shook his head. "Nah. I don't think I could do that…"

"Of course ya could! Just start talkin' about Tousen-Taicho and squirt out some tears or something…"

"But we're not even seeing each other anymore!"

"But neither were she and Hitsugaya accordin' to you. Ya mean you're not even gonna consider it?" Renji scoffed at Shuhei as he slammed the rest of his beverage. "I'm just sayin'…it wouldn't hurt to at least try."

"I'll think about it." Shuhei finally reasoned, and the subject was dropped. He did not want to tell the guys that he didn't want to just use Rangiku for selfish reasons no matter how much he wanted in her pants. If he would have said that to them, he was afraid they would bust his balls even further and he felt that his balls were bad off enough. "I'm gonna go guys. I'll see you tomorrow." Shuhei threw down some money, said his goodbyes and left the bar.

~X~

Three hours had lapsed, and Rangiku was snoring loudly; her head still resting on the windowsill until she sound of a trash can being knocked over outside caused her to wake up rapidly.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO MORE SAKE?!" She shouted, covering her mouth embarrassed when she realized she was alone and dreaming. "Oh…" The clock across the room read five A.M. and Rangiku finally accepted that Toshiro was not coming by. Stretching her legs and burrowing under her covers, the woman set her alarm for three more hours and fell into a restless sleep.

What Rangiku did not see when she looked outside was Shuhei standing under her window watching her, and he flash-stepped as soon as he backed into the trashcan before she could notice.

~X~

Meanwhile, halfway across town in another lonely apartment Toshiro was wide-awake in bed and not due to the usual visions of Momo. Instead, his mind looped memories of him and Rangiku, remembering their last night together:

_They talked for three hours- or rather- Toshiro talked for three hours while Rangiku listened. They lie face to face on her futon, and she hung on her captain's every word; her eyes never left his as he talked about Momo, his grandmother, the responsibilities of being a captain and most of all- how bad he felt for killing his best friend. She would nod in agreement, give him a nudge if she didn't, and touch him assuredly when he felt unsure. _

"_Toshi you've come such a long way since we started talking! Pretty soon you're gonna wake up one morning ready to take on the world again. I'm glad because you're just too important to everyone…" she paused, sitting herself up properly. "…too important to __**me**__ to just give up on everything and disappear into nothingness." _

_Toshiro sat up with Rangiku, surprised at her declaration as if he had only heard it for the first time. He knew she was looking out for him, but that night he finally felt how hard she fought for him and all she had done. "I would never do that to you, Matsumoto." He told her, inching his body closer to hers and taking her hands in his. "Not after all you've done for me…I promise never to give up, no matter what." _

_Rangiku instantly kissed Toshiro, knocking him onto his back as she poured all of her emotions into it. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she would not let go, almost as if she sensed it was going to be their last time together and trying to memorize his lips and taste. He had no problem reciprocating, pouring just as much of his own emotions into that gesture as she did…_

…_and something between them changed that night, becoming all too real for Toshiro._

~X~

Toshiro rolled onto his side and sighed, remembering how he left without Rangiku even knowing as he always did, but also with the knowledge that he would never go to her again after that. After all, if he _were_ to have developed feelings for her he knew they were not only wrong in every way possible, but she was only doing him a favor and in no way shape or form was into him in _that_ way.

"_This is Rangiku Matsumoto, the most beautiful, sought after woman in all of Seireitei" _Toshiro thought to himself, pulling the blankets over his head with another sigh. _"She deserves someone that doesn't need to be coddled and cared for like a child and that could take care of her." _


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

"Good morning, Taicho!" Rangiku chirped as she entered the office for the first time the next morning. "I hope you're hungry! I picked up a couple of breakfast buns and piping hot tea with extra sugar. I don't know about you, but I need the boost!" She put a bun and cup of tea in front of Toshiro, smiling warmly at him. Rangiku was not about to tell him she had been up most of the night waiting for him, nor show him she was at all affected by his not coming by. "So how was your night?"

"It was fine, Matsumoto, thanks." He reached for the bun and picked a small piece off, shoving it into his mouth. "And thank you for this." As Rangiku nodded and turned around to put her things onto her own desk across from him Toshiro had an opportunity to scale his lieutenant, really honing in on her features. He had been worried about her since her attitude changed a few weeks ago and wanted to see if it had improved. Unfortunately, Rangiku was hiding behind her happy façade, and it was difficult for him to get a good gauge. She still seemed tired, and her posture slumped slightly much to his dissatisfaction.

"How are _you_ this morning?" Toshiro blurted unable to stop the words from coming out. When Rangiku turned around to look at him, his face turned red and he quickly crammed another piece of the bun in his mouth.

"Why do you ask, Taicho? I'm all right." He could tell she was lying just to spare him, and it annoyed Toshiro to no end when she did that.

"You know I hate when you lie to me, Matsumoto." Toshiro's eyes narrowed. "I've been asking you for weeks if something was wrong, but you never tell me. I can see it in your eyes. I'm not stupid."

"I know you're not, and I'm not lying because nothing _is_ wrong!" She replied simply, now seated at her own desk and playing with her own bun. "I'm not the one that needs support now…you do!"

Toshiro closed his eyes, sighed angrily, and counted back from ten. "I also told you I was fine. You don't have to treat me like a child." The look in Rangiku's eyes when he said that spoke volumes, despite the fact that she did not say a word, and he knew it was a mistake on his part to have said that. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be." Rangiku smiled and got back to her work, but he could tell she was hurt. Toshiro knew she was the only one that _never_ treated him like a child, that _he_ was the one with the child issue, and Toshiro slapped himself mentally for saying such a thing to her.

~X~

It took all of Rangiku's strength not to break down in front of Toshiro for his comment. Thankful there was work at her desk to pretend to focus on, she bit her bottom lip and kept the tears at bay while she acted as if she gave a shit about the paper in her hands. It was hard enough for her as it was to act as if nothing happened between them, and now this. She knew her captain was no child by being with him, and Toshiro snapping at her just reminded her more that he no longer needed her for support or someone to talk to.

It wasn't that Rangiku didn't want to share her problems with Toshiro either. It was just that if she told him she and Shuhei had broken up when he didn't even know they were dating it would have been difficult to explain, and Toshiro would have felt guilty for coming to her and keeping her from Shuhei, although the latter didn't matter. The last thing she wanted was for him to have one more thing to feel guilty for.

"_He must really be okay now."_ Rangiku thought to herself as she snuck a peek at him while he was not looking. _"That's good...but why doesn't that make me as happy as it should?"_

~X~

The rest of the day was spent in awkward silence. Rangiku finished her paperwork early much to Toshiro's surprise and left the office to deliver it to the main division on her way home with the excuse that she needed the exercise. When she left, Toshiro laughed knowing that woman's body well enough to surmise that she didn't need exercise of any kind, but the smile left his face instantly feeling the loss of her not being in the room with him.

~X~

"Here ya go!" Rangiku exclaimed, placing the folders of her division's finished paperwork onto the counter in front of a surprised subordinate. "That'll be all for division ten's work today!" She walked away without giving the young man a chance to say anything, finding it hard to further feign being happy on the outside.

In reality, on the inside, the woman felt useless- or at least that's what Rangiku _thought_ she felt. Deep down, she really felt lost not being intimate with her captain. She missed the way Toshiro fit in her arms, the way his hair smelled when she rested her chin atop his head as they lie together, and his hands…she really missed his hands. Rangiku blushed at the thoughts of what those very hands did to her. The way they felt when they gently caressed her skin, the softness of his palm as Toshiro cupped her face before he kissed her, and the feel of his fingers through Rangiku's hair.

She walked through the streets of her town slowly, almost as if the woman didn't want to go home. "What for?" Rangiku thought, as she got closer. "He's _everywhere_ in that apartment…" Just before her building came in view Rangiku looked to the left to see the bar she used to frequent with Kira, Renji, and Shuhei. Hesitant at first to go because she wasn't sure how things would be with Hisagi since they stopped talking and she knew he was going to be there, she finally shook her head defiantly and marched off into its direction. "Dammit! It is a public place and _I_ need some sake. I can't let a little awkwardness keep me from drinking." Once she reached the watering hole Rangiku pushed the door open forcibly with her hand and scoped the area. Once the men standing and sitting around caught sight of her she smiled, knowing she wasn't going to be paying for any of her drinks that night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

"One bottle of sa…" Rangiku declared with a hand to the bar, but before she could finish the sentence six men came up around her and shouted, "I'll get it!" in unison. Looping three bottles each in her index fingers, she gave a quick wink to thank the awestruck men and sauntered over to a table in the corner of the bar. They had no idea that the confidence which exuded from her facial and body expressions was nothing like what was truly going on in her head and heart.

She looked at the row of bottles before her and sighed. _"Is this going to be enough to drown out the pain?"_ Rangiku thought, picking one up and popping out the cork. _"Oh well…there are always other suckers if it's not."_ Putting the jug to her mouth, the woman took a long slug, almost emptying its contents in that one gulp. Rangiku leaned her head back, ran her fingers through her long, strawberry locks and began her alcoholic mission to drink herself numb.

~X~

In the hours since he had seen Rangiku and Toshiro together talking about their exploits, Shuhei still had a tough time accepting the fact that she rejected him. It was very uncharacteristic of him; he had not previously cared about such trivial things, but this was something he found he could not build a bridge to get over. His thoughts raced from one side of the spectrum to the other- _"Why wasn't I good enough for her?" _to_ "What does that snobby captain got that I don't?" _and all the way to_ "If I would have treated her like a woman instead of one of the guys…"_

Eventually his blame shifted from himself over to the object of his affections, and Shuhei was thinking thoughts that would have never ever dreamed he would. _"Whatever it takes I AM going to have her. She'll see…I'll show her I'm way better than Hitsugaya-Taicho and she'll regret letting me go."_

Shuhei was supposed to go out with the guys as usual, but both had to cancel for some training exercises he was not involved in so he went to the place by himself. He didn't care anyway as he was more preoccupied with his thoughts than anything and would probably spoil the mood for Izuru and Renji. Shuhei decided this would be a great night to be by himself to sort things out.

However, when he opened the pub doors and found Rangiku passed out at her table with six empty bottles of sake, sorting his thoughts out became nonexistent and he had one goal in mind-

Her.

Shuhei walked over to the ginger-haired woman's table and lightly tapped her cheek with the back of his hand to rouse her. "Hey- Rangiku…you all right?" In his current state, the man wasn't really as concerned as he had come off but he figured it was a nice touch.

Rangiku's eyes opened slowly, blinking before totally opening to gauge her surroundings. Once she figured out where she was, what she had been doing, and most of all, who was standing in front of her the woman sat up erect with a hand to her head.

"Shu do you really have to yell?" Rangiku pouted, wincing at the sounds of the patrons around them.

"Are you alone?" He asked, opening the bottle in his hand.

"I think so, yeah." She pointed to a chair beside her. "Have a seat."

He tried hard to fight the feelings that the scent of her perfume and the fact that her breasts were dangerously close to falling out of her kimono were doing to him. _"If you're gonna do this, ya gotta be patient…," _he thought to himself as he flashed a rare smile.

"Where are the guys tonight?" Rangiku searched the empty bottles in front of her for one that wasn't empty but crinkled her nose upon discovering they all were. Shuhei handed his bottle over to her and she smiled appreciatively. "Thank you, sweet Shu!" she declared, taking a swig from it happily.

"They're at some meeting or training for something…I really don't know." He changed his tone to a sad one, remembering what Renji had said to him the other night:

"_Well, what if you tried to play that game, Shu? If Rangiku-san has a soft spot for emotionally fucked people then you could pretend you were…maybe you'd get some of that comfort sex, eh?"_

Shuhei waited for her to notice his mood shift, and much to his surprise, she did.

"Something wrong, Shu? You don't seem right." Rangiku said genuinely, flagging down a waitress to bring her her own bottle of sake. "Spill it."

"Oh I couldn't bother you with my troubles." He couldn't believe it; she really _was_ playing into his hands.

"I insist. No friend of mine's gonna look like a sad sack if I can help it." Before he could answer her, she instantly thought of something and her own mood went downhill. "Wait…I know why you're upset…it's because of _us_, isn't it?"

Shuhei knew he was not going to get anything from her if he said yes to that statement even though it _was_ true. Rangiku wasn't going to sleep with him out of pity for dumping him, of that he was certain.

"Nah. That's water under the bridge." He lied, taking another swig from his bottle. "It's just that…" Shuhei paused for dramatic effect, and Rangiku's sincere concern and compassion was showing full force.

"Just tell me already! What's wrong?"

Showtime…

Renji's words continued to echo in his head:

"_Just start talkin' about Tousen-Taicho and squirt out some tears or something…"_

Shuhei sighed dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose, knowing that this motion always made his eyes water, but she didn't so it seemed like he was just trying to get out his feelings. He started a story about how he had been thinking of his captain, their last moment before he died, and how betrayed he felt by the blinded man.

"I just can't seem to do _anything_ to get Tousen out of my mind."

Within minutes, he felt arms envelop him and his face pressed up against soft, palpable flesh.

It was working!

However, Shuhei was not the only one thinking about taking advantage of a certain situation or someone.

As Rangiku held Shuhei to her chest, listening to him tell her about his captain, the idea that maybe _she_ could lose the feeling of uselessness she felt from Toshiro no longer needing her in someone else even if momentarily crossed her mind.

"_I need to move on anyway…," _she thought, suddenly being all too aware the effect Shuhei's face was having against her breasts. _"Besides…I wouldn't really be taking advantage because he wants me, right? It's like I always said…it's just comfort sex…"_

"…_isn't it?"_

The dark haired man enjoyed the feeling of Rangiku's nails digging into his scalp and the way she held him securely to her. In fact, he was beginning to enjoy it more than he should, and the urges he suppressed were beginning to get harder for him to fight. Before he knew it, Shuhei's hands had minds of their own and started moving about the woman's body, and Rangiku was not protesting either.

"_I need this…"_ her breaths became ragged from Shuhei's ministrations as she fought her own inner logic, and eventually it had flown out the window along with any other coherent thought she had. Rangiku lifted his head from her chest and darted her eyes from his to his mouth as if silently asking for permission to kiss him. Shuhei brought his face closer to hers and pressed their lips together; Rangiku wrapped her arms around his neck and played with the short hairs at his nape with her fingers while their tongues fought for dominance.

In an instant, Shuhei flashed them both back to Rangiku's apartment because it was the closest and continued their make out session on her futon. There was no doubt in the man's mind that he was finally going to have Rangiku Matsumoto after so long.

Meanwhile…

Toshiro could not function for the rest of the day after Rangiku left him. He felt so terrible for being cross with her that his ability to concentrate on anything other than her was impossible. Even during one of the naps he treasured taking to break up his day did nothing for him; the hurt in her steel-blue eyes engulfed him the instant his lids closed. Sitting up from the office couch, Toshiro decided to make things right by going over to apologize, whether she wanted to hear it or not. It was very late anyway, and he thought he should call it a day- or night…whichever. Slipping back into his sandals and closing the office door behind him, Toshiro darted through town, heading over to his lieutenant's apartment.

~X~

Shuhei and Rangiku attacked one another mercilessly, kissing, groping, and ripping clothes off with frantic abandon. Her skin was on fire, and Shuhei's hands burned as he ran them along the base of her thighs, up the curve of her perfectly formed hips until they settled at the peaks of her breasts, inciting pants and moans from the woman beneath him. He could hardly believe it was that easy to get her, although he figured the sake she had consumed before he arrived at the bar played a part in their current position. Still, he was by no means complaining…

…that is, until something inside Rangiku snapped.

Her body felt like it was going to explode; she focused on Shuhei's hands and how they felt upon her skin when the first vision of Toshiro flashed through her mind. She remembered _his_ gentleness and soft hands, and Despite the sake and the confidence it once gave her, Rangiku found the resolve she had earlier to have sex with Shuhei disappearing. Her eyes flew open, and her hands pressed upon the man's chest, pushing him off her much to his surprise.

"No…" Rangiku begged, pulling the blankets up over her chest as she tried to get her bearings. Hisagi knelt before her, breathing heavily and eyes wide with confusion.

At that moment, Toshiro had arrived at her front sliding door. He sensed the riatsu of someone other than Rangiku and hesitated opening it, preferring to make sure he was not interrupting anything and was shocked at what he heard come from his lieutenant's mouth-

"I can't do this, Shu. I thought I could, but…" Rangiku bit her bottom lip and guilty tears formed in her eyes as she tried to make him understand.

Shuhei continued to watch her, clad only in a sheet and panties, rejecting him _yet_ again, and something in his own head snapped, or rather- _refused_ to believe what he was hearing and became angry.

"I see how it is." The man said darkly, approaching her slowly on all fours, which had made Rangiku nervous. "You'll give yourself to anyone, including that frigid-ass captain of yours, but not me." His breath was hot against her throat as his face was suddenly _too_ close for the woman's comfort, but her eyes went wide and her blood ran cold when she truly focused on what Shuhei had just said.

At that moment, her captain slipped inside the apartment and headed towards her bedroom door, worried about the direction the conversation was going and for his lieutenant's well being. He smothered his riatsu and pressed himself flat against the outer wall as he listened.

"You…you _know_ about Toshiro and…me?" She gulped, and it was so quiet and thick in the room that that motion could possibly be heard throughout the entire apartment. "Shu…I…" Her body trembled in fear, and her sword was nowhere to be found if she was even daring enough to try to fend the man hovering over her off. "I'm sorry…"

"You're always sorry." He scoffed, leaning his head in to kiss at her neck. "But you can make it up to me by giving me what we both know we want…right now. C'mon…just pretend I'm anyone else you've ever fucked, Rangiku. Should be easy for you…"

"But that's not true!" Rangiku tried to pry herself away from him, but Shuhei had her pinned down pretty good with his knees. "I've never been with anyone _but_ Toshiro." She raised her arms up and pressed her hands to Shuhei's chest to keep him from falling onto her. He was heavy, but the adrenaline coursing through her veins gave her enough strength to hold him up. Rangiku could see that nothing she was saying seemed to get through to him; he was too far-gone. "Please, Shu…you don't want to do this! This is not the Shu I know!"

Meanwhile, outside the door Toshiro stood shocked at her declaration. _"That can't be true!"_ he thought with a hand to his head. _"I can't be the only one Matsumoto's ever been with…that means she…"_

His thoughts shut down by the sound of Rangiku screaming. He immediately busted through the door, deciding not to be idle any longer. When Toshiro entered the room, his anger rose to the point where everything in the vicinity had started to freeze. Shuhei turned to find a fist barreling towards his face and was hit- thrown to the far wall and away from Rangiku.

"Taicho!" She called out in surprise, still clutching the sheet to her chest. "What are _you_ doing here?"

His eyes were still fixated on Shuhei, and in one swift motion, Toshiro reached for his sword, called Hyorinmaru, and encased the man in ice.

"Don't hurt him!" Rangiku yelled, rushing to Toshiro's side in an attempt to stop him. "He's not himself!"

"I'm not _going_ to hurt him, Matsumoto." He replied calmly, lifting the ice-encased Shuhei up into the air with his sword. "I'm merely paralyzing him so he could be taken to the Seireitei cells for the night." Toshiro gave the woman an up and down glance. "Put some clothes on, will you? I'll be right back." And he left a bewildered Rangiku in his wake as he flash-stepped out of her apartment.

"_He's mad at me…"_ She said to herself, picking a fresh kimono out of her closet. _"He must have heard us talking…"_ Her eyes fell to the floor and she sighed, holding the kimono to her chest before reluctantly slipping it on.

~X~

Shuhei was placed in a cell as per Toshiro's orders and shattered out of his ice-casket. A shinigami subordinate rushed to the man's side with a blanket, and asked the captain if there were further instructions.

"No. Just keep him here till he defrosts, and alert me when he seems coherent."

The subordinate nodded in response and tended to Shuhei. Toshiro turned to look at him and shook his head.

"Looks like she tricked the both of us." He said aloud before flashing back out of the cell quarters.

~X~

**A/N: So I am aware that Shuhei is not himself in this fic, but it was necessary for him to be so for the sake of this plot. I told you he was not going to be treated very kindly in this. Imagine yourself wanting something so badly that eventually you lose all sense of logic to try to attain it. THAT was what I was going for here with him; that he was just so obsessed with the fact that he couldn't have Rangiku that he lost all ability to tell right from wrong. **

**Anyway, this should be ending soon- probably a few more chapters depending on how they go. Thank you for reading and reviewing!! Happy Easter!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

Hisagi rose from the stiff futon abruptly, licking his dry lips while perusing the area around him. At first he was unsure of his surroundings, but unfortunately, his memory served him and he remembered- the Soul Society prison, and _why_ he was there, instantly shuddering with guilt over what he had done to Rangiku.

"I'm lucky to be alive." He said to himself, rubbing his temples as he recalled being frozen by Toshiro and thankful he was safe behind bars. "He could have killed me easily…" Shuhei licked his lips again, wishing for coffee or a glass of water and almost as if his wish were granted he noticed a tin cup at his feet full of water. He picked it up, drank from it, and leaned back against his pillow with his hands under his head.

The events from the night before came back to him in waves, and he had no valid excuse for what he had done aside from mere obsession. _"I can't believe I tried to force myself on Rangiku like that… I'm such an asshole." _ As he lie there thinking, Shuhei made a mental note to never take any advice from Renji Abarai ever again no matter how fool proof it sounded. He sighed, disappointed in himself as he rolled over to his side to face the window. _"She's never going to speak to me again, and I'm sure Hitsugaya-Taicho will want to have words with me too. I've really gone and fucked things up this time."_

The one thing that took Shuhei by surprise was the simple declaration that Rangiku made to him.

"_I've never been with anyone but Toshiro"_

"How could that be? What about the rumors and Gin? Weren't they lovers?"

His thoughts were interrupted by a voice at the head of the bars behind him.

"No, we weren't."

Shuhei lifted his head from the pillow, surprised to see Rangiku standing there clad in her lieutenant's uniform. "Rangiku…"

She beckoned him to her with a curl of her finger and he found himself dumbly walking towards her. When he got close enough, on instinct Rangiku backed away, but remembered there were bars dividing them and stopped- placing her hands on them.

"Gin and I were friends…he saved my life, nothing more ever evolved from that." She said sadly, her eyes misting from the memories. "We had a bond, but we were never intimate."

"Rangiku I'm so sorry. I was an asshole." Shuhei interrupted hastily, unable to hold back his feelings.

The woman hung her head and sighed heavily. "Shu…it wasn't entirely you're fault. I'm just as much to blame for last night as you are."

Shuhei seemed confused by her admission. "I don't get it…how?"

"I drank too much and thought I could put my feelings for Toshiro aside by sleeping with you." She paused, raising her head to stare into Shuhei's mercury pools. "But I chickened out at the last minute…I led you on…it's no wonder you got so upset. I was rejecting you all over again."

He put his hands over Rangiku's, squeezing tightly. "That still didn't give me the right to try and take something from you that wasn't mine. I can't blame you if you're angry with me."

"I'm not angry with you, Shu. I was being selfish. After being a means of support for Toshiro all these months and him finally getting well made me feel useless. In my slightly tipsy state I thought I could start another casual thing with you in a similar way but realized that my feelings for him have gone deeper than just sex for comfort."

Hisagi removed his hands from hers and broke eye contact with her. "Did you tell him how you feel?"

Rangiku shook her head and laughed. "No. He's not interested. Toshiro made his feelings known when he told me he was fine. Even if he would still just talk to me…that would make my day. Everything's so awkward now. I shouldn't have allowed myself to let it get too real- too meaningful. After all, I'm the one who said it was just sex."

"But why Toshiro of all people?"

"I didn't plan on this, Shuhei…" Rangiku argued; her hands folded into her chest. "I truly went over there to have dinner with him that night, and he was in such bad shape, saying something about wanting to feel something other than guilt or regret for accidentally killing Momo. Before I knew it I hugged him, he kissed me, and I was telling him I'd help him forget." She paused, and a blush crept up into Rangiku's cheeks as she recalled that night. "It just felt so…_right_ being with him, and after a few times I found I wanted nothing than more than to take care of him for the rest of our lives." When she blinked, tears fell and she drew in a long breath to gain her composure. "The reality of it is that I lied to you, I lied to him…I've made such a mess of things."

Shuhei put his hand back over Rangiku's as she cried, squeezing it gently. "It's all right, Rangiku. I understand now. Let's just call it a draw, huh? Not being your friend would hurt me more than your rejection, and I promise I won't try anything as idiotic as that again."

She looked up at Hisagi with a tired smile, blinking away the last of her tears; her hand went through the bars to caress his cheek gently and he put his hand over hers. "I'd like that, Shu. Arigato."

"Get your damn hands off her!" They heard from behind them, and both turned to see Toshiro barreling towards the cell and Hyōrinmaru unsheathed. He glared at Matsumoto for being so intimate with someone that just recently tried to take advantage of her. "Haven't you learned your lesson, woman?"

"Uh oh." Was Shuhei's reaction and they both stepped back as the sword sparked against the cell bars.

"Taicho! It's all right! He's not doing anything here…" Rangiku matched Toshiro's glare with one of her own; she tried pretending she was angry at him for being mad at her, but was really disappointed in herself for him having to act that way in the first place.

"Matsumoto, would you give us a moment?" Toshiro asked in a nicer tone when he realized how cross he was with her again, not taking his eyes off the barred man. Rangiku nodded.

"I'm going to head back home, Taicho. I am still a bit tired." She looked around Toshiro and at Shuhei, silently nodding her thanks. He responded in kind as her captain's eyes stayed glued to his and she left them alone without another word.

At first, the two stood opposite one another, serving as bookends to the bars between them. Toshiro was obviously and understandably still angry at what happened, and Shuhei stood with his hands in his pockets, ready to take anything that came his way. As far as he was concerned, he had gotten off too easily with Rangiku.

"I guess saying I'm sorry is out of the question." Shuhei began, turning away from Toshiro to stop from feeling his stare, but even facing another direction he could sense the man had not let up. "But I feel horrible for what I've done. There's no excuse."

"You're damn right there isn't." Toshiro spat; his voice dripped with venom. "If you feel horrible now, how would you have felt if I did not show up to apologize to Matsumoto for being rude to her? How far would you have gone?"

"I was irrational." Was Shuhei's reply, short and to the point. "I was obsessed- we were seeing each other for a few weeks before the two of you started screwing around…she dumped me for you and I didn't even know it until the other day. As I said, it's not an excuse, but it was the motivation behind my actions. If you hadn't shown up…I don't even want to go there."

As Shuhei made it back to his cot, he heard the door to his cell click, open and close. When he turned around, Toshiro was on his side of the bars but Hyōrinmaru was sheathed, much to his relief.

"If you would have hurt her…" Toshiro clenched his fist at his side and seared his eyes shut. He had spent a good part of the evening and morning thinking 'what if?' and his head was bothering him. "It's taking all of my resistance now not to beat the ever loving shit out of you, Hisagi." He paused, turning away from the man in embarrassment. "And it's all my fault for pushing her to it."

"You need to go talk to her, Taicho." Shuhei declared from his spot. Although Toshiro wasn't posing a threat he was not taking any chances by moving. "We have nothing more to say here. I'll take whatever punishment you decide."

"That's not necessary." The white haired man said reluctantly, heading back to the cell door. "You'll be released by the time I leave. I'm sorry for all this…I did not know you two were together."

"She's a secretive woman when she wants to be." Shuhei offered with an unsure smile. "Like you said- it looks like she tricked the both of us." He paused. "Don't blow this chance…I'd kill to be in your place right now, and if you hurt her…" Shuhei summoned up his courage; after all it _was_ Toshiro Hitsugaya he was talking to. "…I'll find a way to make you regret it even if you _are_ stronger than I am."

At those words, the captain glared back at Shuhei but nodded with a smirk. "Understood." And exited the cells, alerting the subordinate in charge to let the man out shortly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Toshiro took his time getting to Rangiku's, opting to walk instead of flash-stepping. The time between him leaving the office the night before, to his meeting with Shuhei minutes ago had left the young man with much to think about, mainly his feelings toward his lieutenant.

As he strolled through the streets; his haori billowing in the wind, Toshiro slowly snapped the pieces into place, finding it easy to do so when only a day or so before he couldn't.

First he had to admit that their time spent together was not just so he could forget or feel something other than guilt over Momo. Kicking a piece of rock with his Tabi, Toshiro knew he acknowledged to himself that by the third or fourth time he had gone to Rangiku- he was there for _her _and not himself. It was, after all, around the time he noticed her demeanor and mood change despite the fact that the woman swore up and down she was fine.

"_You don't seem right to me." Toshiro noted with concern as they lie together face to face- his hands gripping the pillow his head rested on. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"_

_Rangiku rolled onto her back, sighed and stared up at the dark ceiling for a few minutes before pursing her lips into a sly smile, blinking, and tackling Toshiro with a kiss that rolled his eyes into the back of his head.. _

He knew it was her way of being evasive because the young man would suddenly be preoccupied with *other* things, never bringing her mood up again for the remainder of the evening. He did notice, however that she _would_ hold him tighter, kiss him softer and longer, and give more of herself to him afterward, as if thanking him for taking the time to care. While it was flattering, Toshiro was often hurt that she would think he *didn't* care at all.

He slit his eyes and pouted at the thought. Of _course_ he cared; she was his lieutenant for over 100 years! It was not as if they had no former relationship before it got complicated with sex and awkwardness. As he rounded a corner of the third block, Toshiro realized that maybe their friendship _could_ have been a little better outside of office duties, and that was maybe why Rangiku did not bother him with her troubles- because he had never opened up that door of concern to her.

It wasn't that he didn't want to- it was the fact that he didn't know _how_ to. She always seemed so aloof and flighty around him, and shared very little with him aside from the trials and tribulations of having large breasts. He didn't want to pry into her life and offend her.

Several times after that particular night, Toshiro put just as much of an effort into their love making as she did for him, just to prove to her (and himself) that he _was_ capable of caring, and he was not simply there taking advantage of her, but he didn't think she noticed or cared.

It wasn't until the very last night- Toshiro knew he was never going there again because he found he was no longer going there for support but out of his own selfish desire for Rangiku…he was addicted to her, and she was not interested in anything else with him other than helping him to forget. With one final thrust, his energy depleted, Toshiro fell into his lieutenant, wrapped his arms around her tight, buried his head into her neck, and while lost in the moment, said three words he shouldn't have-

"_I love you"_

He wasn't sure if she heard him because she didn't say anything after that, or if she did, she was not going to acknowledge it. When he left, it was all Toshiro could do to try and burn her face into his memory as she slept, and feeling of the way she fit in his arms. He thought if he cut out of there quickly that he had a better chance of getting over her.

Telling Rangiku the next day that (thanks to her) he was finally able to return to work was among the hardest things he felt he had to do in his entire career, and when she ran into his arms after seeing him in their office for the first time he almost changed his mind, opting not to say anything at all.

But he did not.

Toshiro was not surprised with Rangiku's reaction to his announcement, but could not help but wish someway, somehow she at least felt a _little_ disappointed. It was a good thing though, because it made his decision to never seek her out again a little bit easier to deal with.

Only a little.

He had not counted on the next couple of days since then to be so hard. Having to work across from her, trying not to steal glances when she wasn't looking, and most of all, keeping the past feelings and memories of previous nights at bay took a lot more strength and resistance than he had imagined. When she left his office for the evening, he missed her company, and when he walked back to his lonely apartment it took even more of his will to not turn in the direction of hers.

Most of the time he wondered if Rangiku felt even the tiniest fraction for him that he felt for her. She was so difficult to read, and her reputation (although he did not like to acknowledge it) kept Toshiro from thinking that she was even capable of such feelings. He would curse her- angry at times for her just going on like nothing had changed while he suffered in silence, but take it back the instant he thought it, guilty for his misplaced anger and frustration.

That was another issue- her reputation.

After hearing her declare to Shuhei that Toshiro was the only one Rangiku had ever been intimate with, the young man was even more confused. How could she have this "reputation" if she had never actually slept around? He put another piece of the puzzle together- that this reputation was formed from rumors and gossip meant to make Rangiku seem easy because of her flirtatious manner and gorgeous body, and Toshiro wanted nothing more than to tear apart the people that started spreading these horrible lies, making a mental note to handle that as soon as he had the time.

With the realization that her reputation was pretty much non-existent, Toshiro thought more about the way she was with him and became suddenly hopeful that maybe she _was_ feeling something too, and _that_ scared him because the closer he got to her apartment, the more the barrier he had put up around his heart had started to crumble, and he was slowly allowing himself to truly fall for her with every step.

Toshiro stopped walking just a block away from his lieutenant's home and stood in the middle of the street. A huge blast of wind almost toppled him but felt good against his skin and hair. His nerves were shot; it should not be so difficult for him to tell her how he felt, not after how intimate in other ways they had been, and he felt so raw emotionally that he was not sure if he could handle Rangiku rejecting him. Closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath, Toshiro closed the gap between himself and the door to Rangiku's apartment; his hand curled into a fist as he attempted to knock.

_"It's now or never..." _He thought as his hand froze in place, his heart beating louder in his chest than his fist would banging on the door.

~X~

Rangiku herself was going through her own kaleidoscope of emotions as she rest on her living room couch. She felt bad for Shuhei because he was locked away despite the fact that it was because of her he was there. If she would have been honest with him in the first place he could have been better equipped to deal with them no longer seeing one another. Rangiku cursed herself for even thinking the man would never find out about her and her captain and how much she messed things up between them. Sure, Shuhei said it was all right, but things will always be awkward for _her_; of that she was certain.

She wondered if her captain was going to come by, and came to the conclusion that he wasn't, especially how she had been letting him down constantly every time they met in the last few hours. First he had to save her from Shuhei and find out they were together, then he scolded her at the prison for going to see him despite what he did.

_"Haven't you learned your lesson yet, woman?"_

Toshiro had spoken coarsely to her before, but never had he not called her Matsumoto while doing so. _Woman_ seemed like something a complete stranger would say, _not_ someone you knew over a time span of 50 to 100 years, and Rangiku felt bad for that too.

She knuckled away a stray tear from her eye, resisting the urge to just bawl even though she knew she needed to. "This is a fine mess I've gotten myself into." she said, glancing over at a photo of her and her captain that sat on a side table in her living room. "Will I ever get his respect back? I know he can't love me now even if he did once...not after what I've done, but if he didn't think of me as a dumb tramp I could get by everyday on that."

"So you heard me then...that night?" She heard a voice from behind her say nervously and turned her head to find Toshiro standing in her entryway. "I'm sorry- I couldn't bring myself to knock so I came in. You should really start locking that door, by the way." He chuckled uneasily with his fists clenched at his sides. Shaking off the nervousness, he made his way over to the couch where Rangiku was sitting and knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his trembling ones. "I'm sorry." Was all Toshiro could say, closing his eyes and bowing his head.

"For what, Taicho?" Rangiku asked, embarrassed that he had caught her crying and her hands weren't free to wipe her face.

"For being so harsh to you after all you've been through, and for making you feel like I didn't care." Toshiro reached his hand up to Rangiku's face and wiped her tears away with his thumb; she leaned her cheek into his hand, closing her eyes. "I was trying to protect myself, so I came off as apathetic, but in reality..." He rose up from his spot to sit beside her and pulled her into his chest. "...I _have_ fallen in love with you, Rangiku."

Her eyes went wide- "You called me _Rangiku_." She said surprised, lifting her head. Blue eyes met teal, and a smile slowly made its way to her face. "I love you, Toshiro...I didn't think you felt the same way either so I protected _myself_ too."

They stared at one another for a brief moment before a giggle from Rangiku caused them both to laugh hysterically, eventually resting their foreheads against one another to catch their breath.

"I'm sorry I lied to you." Rangiku said sincerely, her hands holding his. "It wasn't that I didn't want to tell you what was bothering me, but I didn't know _how_ to tell you about Shuhei...and as for leading you on about my reputation- I just didn't want you to feel bad, so your thinking I did this type of thing all the time let me help you. Momo's death was destroying you enough."

"Rangiku..." Toshiro said seriously, reclaiming his hands and putting them back over hers. "...what you gave me wasn't something a woman takes lightly...you didn't have to do that."

"I don't regret it." She smiled assuredly. "I would have done whatever it took to help you...you're my captain- my friend. I've always got your back, remember?"

"And from now on, for all you've done for me, _I'll _be the one that looks after _you_, Rangiku." Toshiro replied, putting his hands to her face as he pressed her lips to his. Rangiku smiled into his mouth, melted in his arms and they both fell back onto the couch.

~X~

From that moment on, Toshiro stayed true to his word, because if it weren't for the love and support from Rangiku, the man would have never learned to forgive himself for something that wasn't his fault.

Things between Shuhei and Rangiku were awkward at first as she expected, but eventually as she and Toshiro got into a better working routine, the woman was able to go out with her fellow lieutenants for drinks on occasion and slowly mend their friendship. Pretty soon things between them had gone back to normal-or as normal as they could be. More than anything Shuhei wanted Rangiku to be happy, and if Toshiro was what made her so then he was content. He still held onto the promise that he _would_ make Toshiro regret hurting her if he did, and Toshiro was all right with that knowing he never would.

And one day, in a simple-but-elegant ceremony among the remaining members of the Gotei 13 and their friends from Karakura Town, the 10th Division Captain made his intentions official, declaring his ever growing love and devotion to his lieutenant for the rest of his life as he slipped a gold band onto her finger.

**~END~**

**A/N: Thanks so much to my readers and reviewers, for sticking around and going on this adventure with me. I hope you liked reading as much as I loved writing it! **


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